Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
