It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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