Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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