oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
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