i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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