I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
