Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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