You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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