It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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