just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
