fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
