I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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