I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
