how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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