I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
