As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
