Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
