And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
