I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
there is glitter all over my balls
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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