Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
