fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
