Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
