Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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