you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
