Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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