I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
