Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
