Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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