I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
