i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
