I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize
