my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
