I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
