she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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