your room smells of hookers.
And success
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
