I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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