they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
