My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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