on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
