Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
