but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
