Pappa wants mamma naked
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
