her vagine was all disorganized.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
