im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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