hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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