you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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