u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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