Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
