god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
