So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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