Pappa wants mamma naked
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
